“I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.”

Stop a moment and consider what an amazing statement this is….

Last week, in Genesis 37, we heard about Joseph, a young boy of seventeen, and the story of a terrible evil committed against him by his brothers. This week we read the story of Joseph’s incredible response to the perpetrators of that evil. How was this possible?

When preparing the sermon, my eyes fell on a medal that was balanced on the base of my computer. It was a medal that Arthur gave me in 2019 just before a major operation. I have carried it with me ever since. The medal has these words from Matthew 19: “With God, All things are Possible.” It struck me as I saw it that these New Testament words – spoken by Jesus – really capture the essence of Joseph’s story.

I wonder how many of you read Spare – Prince Harry’s autobiography. I haven’t read it, but I heard enough news clips and interviews to know he feels (justifiably or not) a deep sense of hurt and wrong committed against his wife and himself. It is obvious that there is pain and bitterness. I suspect that now, after the book was published, there is reciprocal anger from his family. Some of what is written probably resonates with many peoples’ stories of family breakdown. It is a stark reminder that many of us carry pain and bitterness throughout our lives from things done or said by family or friends: betrayal, hurt, deceit, injustice, dishonesty, disappointment, favouritism, and jealousy – to name a few. And, we see these happen in the story of Joseph and his brothers.

I have never forgotten a throwaway comment by a friend of mine decades ago when he talked about his own painful family relationships. “Every family since the first – Adam, Eve, Cain and Abel – is dysfunctional, imperfect and broken in some way.” Cain kills his brother Abel because he envied him. When God asks Cain where his brother is, Cain replies: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” There was no remorse or regret. No desire for forgiveness.

But Joseph’s story is very different. We heard last week about Joseph and what provided fodder for the breakdown in relationships.

“Joseph, was seventeen years old, and was shepherding the flock with his brothers; he was a helper to the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father Jacob’s wives…
Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father…
Jacob loved Joseph more than any other of his children…
When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated Joseph, and could not speak peaceably to him.

Jacob had several wives – but it was Rachel, Joseph’s mother that he loved. If you read this epic of family brokenness in Genesis 29-45, you will hear the heart-breaking words that Leah (Jacob’s first wife, Rachel’s sister) says, when her son is born. “The LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” Leah knew she was not loved. You get the sense that Jacob’s other wives and children were “Spares.” Jacob himself says: “You know that my wife has borne me two sons,” even though he had many wives and many sons.

As we see, Joseph, is loved and favoured by his father, and for this reason, hated by his brothers. Joseph is not blameless – he tells his brothers about his dream where they bow down to him; he speaks ill of his brothers to his father. And so the situation ferments to the point where Joseph’s brothers want to kill him, and where they eventually sell him into slavery for profit. There is also a large part of the story we don’t read – what happens between Joseph’s betrayal by his brothers last week and his reconciliation with them this week. Let me summarise.

Joseph is enslaved; he is falsely accused of crimes he didn’t commit, and imprisoned – forgotten by those he helps. Yet there is a thread of gold running through the story – amid all the evils, we see Joseph as a young man of integrity, with a deep faith that God is with him. We see a young man who lives well – kind to others, even his fellow-prisoners. Yet, we find no bitterness and anger at his misfortunes and injustices. Perhaps he recognised his own failures in his broken relationship with his brothers; perhaps he saw father’s mistakes. We are not told. But Joseph appears to live in the present, free of the past and what was done to him.

Joseph’s story is a miracle of many parts. It is a miracle of forgiveness – the antidote to bitterness. Joseph could have had his revenge if he chose to. He could have let his brothers suffer during the famine. He could have disowned them. Instead there is an amazing absence of bitterness and anger.

We also see another miracle. Joseph has God’s perspective of what happened to him. He says to his brothers: “do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here… God sent me before you to preserve life.” There is a verse in the book of Romans: “All things work together for them that love the Lord,” that resonates with Joseph’s attitude.

Then we see the miracle of Joseph’s undeserved generosity as he says to his brothers: “You shall settle in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children, as well as your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. I will provide for you there, since there are five more years of famine.”

Think about Joseph’s words and actions – they are only possible for a man who has forgiven the unforgivable things done to him, a man willing to have God’s perspective of what happened, a man who instead of meeting evil with bitterness and revenge extends such generosity to those who didn’t deserve it.

Because with God, all things were possible for Joseph.

I was recently chatting to a friend about how family relationships change over the years. How in childhood and young adulthood we think that nothing bad could happen. Then we grew up and realise that things change: animosities creep in; things are said and done that feel unforgiveable; favouritism and injustice appear; bitterness and estrangement follow. I look at my scattered extended family across the globe carrying good and bad memories, hurting for lost connections, feeling pain, and nursing bitterness and anger for decades.

I am preaching to myself, as much as to you for we are all sinful humans who hurt and let one another down. Siblings, children and parents betray each other. Families are fractured and damaged. This is true even within church life and God’s family. We nurse resentment, anger and bitterness. Sometimes throughout our lives. To the end of life.

In our gospel today Jesus talks of what defile us – things that come out of our heart: Evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. But this is a short list. We can add bitterness, revenge, anger, unforgiving thoughts, lack of kindness. But Jesus tells us “forgive, do good to those who hate you, love your enemies.”

In April 2015, Eva Kor, a Holocaust survivor, publicly forgave Oskar Gröning, the 93-year-old “book keeper of Auschwitz.” One report explained that, “few understand how Eva Kor can publicly forgive a former Auschwitz guard – but it has saved her life.” Eva Kor had this to say:

“The day I forgave the Nazis, privately I forgave my parents whom I hated all my life for not having saved me from Auschwitz. Children expect their parents to protect them; mine couldn’t. And then I forgave myself for hating my parents. Forgiveness is really nothing more than an act of self-healing and self-empowerment. I call it a miracle medicine. It is free, it works and has no side effects. I believe with every fibre of my being that every human being has the right to live without the pain of the past.”

It is possible to let go of bitterness, to forgive, the unforgiveable. I believe that if humans live by the principles God sets out for the flourishing of human life, and healing of relationships – God will do the impossible. As Arthur’s medal always reminds me, all things are possible with God. If we only believe.